Thursday, February 22, 2018

Planet Dead: The Briggs Boys (Chapter One)


Last year I wrote an exclusive book for the readers on my mailing list. It's the epic story of Robert Briggs as he battles through Planet Dead with his son and his brother. It's a whole new year and I've decided to clean this story up and release it for sale. It should be out in a few weeks, I'll be sure to let you know. For now, you can read the first chapter right here. 

I give to you, The Briggs Boys!
I hope you enjoy.
~Sylvester

A splatter of blood found its way onto the only family photo Mama Briggs had of her boys and the girl. The Girl was a very disrespectful nickname for her daughter-in-law, but Mama Briggs was seventy-five years old and had no plans of undergoing any changes, anytime soon. However, it's always been a commonly known fact in the Briggs household, that fate never sticks to the plans you make.
"Give me the fucking gun, Pete!" Robert shouted. A head came tumbling across his black boots. Not even a second later, Robert’s steel toe boot caved in the chest of the headless zombie, who was once Mama Briggs’ favorite doctor, who oddly enough in 2019, still made late-night house calls. The blood spurting corpse was sent flying into a nearby wall. Robert's deep, umber, brown hand tightened around the wooden handle of his hatchet; with his free hand, he started pounding on the hallway closet.
"No! I don’t want any part of this!” Peter shouted. His hands tightly held the metal doorknob from inside the closet. This was an event that occurred in the Briggs household, many times throughout Peter and Robert’s childhood. Peter would cause some kind of a mess and hide away from it all, surrounded by the claustrophobic walls of the linen closet. All the while his older brother, Robert, would be cursing and threatening Peter with bodily harm from the outside. The only difference between then and now was they weren’t boys anymore. Robert had a family of his own with The Girl. Also, one notable difference was, the event that led to this new closet encounter, had nothing to do with Peter. The world was falling apart due to an unknown virus that was turning people into rabid killers...better known as zombies.
"Pete, I'm not fucking playing with you! You tell me where that gun is or I'll crack your fucking head open like an egg!" Robert shouted before sending a strong kick into the door that caused Peter to tumble into the towels, knocking them all over.


"Listen, I know you have some built up issues," Peter said softly. "Yeah, she did love me more. And yeah, we forget your ninth birthday, but to be fair, you didn't have any friends." Peter said. 
Robert rolled his eyes and took a step back from the closet door, "What the hell are you going on about?" Robert asked. Peter's ear pressed up against the door; he could hear Robert's footsteps along the wooden hallway. The closet door opened slowly. Only far enough for Peter to get a peek at his brother, who was walking toward Mama Briggs' locked bedroom door. The closet door flung open. Peter leaped in front of Robert, placing himself between his brother and his Mama.
"I'm talking about this hate you've built up against her for years now! You think people don't see it..." Peter said he waved his index finger from side to side in Robert's face, "But oh boy, do we see it. You couldn't act your way out of a paper bag, big brother." Peter said. His hazel eyes glared at Robert, "You can't fight hate with hate." Peter whispered. Peter and Robert stood silently in a brotherly stare down until Robert lifted up his hatchet, placing the bloody blade in the middle of their faces and causing Peter's eyes to break away.
"Pete, I love you. With all my heart. Why I don’t know.” Robert said and then sighed, “But, it’s the only reason I'm giving you this chance." Robert smiled, "Move or I'll be burying two bodies tonight." Peter’s hands slowly went up and he cautiously stepped aside.
"Well when you put it that way, how could I argue?" Peter said. Robert's fingers wrapped around the doorknob. He took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for what was about to go down. It wasn't often a son had to drive a blade into his mother's skull. Something like that would certainly create a whole new form of PTSD in the former soldier. Robert closed his eyes, but then, a loud bang was heard causing them to jolt back open. 
"What the hell was that?" Robert asked. It was a foolish question, he knew that bang. That bang used to be his best friend and worst enemy. It was a warning alarm, letting him know that shit was hitting the fan and that Robert had to go into fighting mode. That bang was a gunshot, Robert knew that in his soul. His eyes searched for Peter, but he was nowhere to be found. "Pete?" Robert said softly. 


The closet door opened and Peter's head poked out, "What?" Peter asked. There was an annoyed and puzzled look on Peter’s face as he stared at Robert. Peter wasn't the smartest person in the world, nor was he the strongest, in fact, the man had a list full of flaws that started with: dropping out of college and ended with living with his mother. Although even with those flaws Peter had one thing going for him, the man was fast. Which was beneficial in a world full of zombies and for living a long cowardly life.
"What are you doing in there?” Robert asked. 
Peter rolled his eyes, "I'm counting the towels. We got ten!” Peter hissed, “What you think I'm doing?" Robert took a step toward the closet and Peter quickly pulled the door closed.
"Get out of there, right now!" Robert sternly replied.
Peter shook his head, "No! Not everyone can play Paul Bunyan swinging an axe and shit." Peter said. 
Robert sighed and put his hand on the closet door, "Listen, you can have the hatchet, just tell me where the gun is." Robert said softly.
"Umm, let me think about that. How about, no!" Peter shouted. Robert sent his steel toe flying, cracking the white wooden door. 
"Sometimes you can be a little bitch, you know that?" Robert replied.
"I know that and I’m fine with it. Because this little bitch will live to carry on the Briggs family name. Now get to getting and find out what the hell is going on." Peter said. Robert looked at the closet door and found himself questioning why he ever asked Santa for a little brother; he would have been better off with a bike or a loyal puppy. Robert's shoulder dragged along on the wall. His body hugged the wallpaper, while he got closer to the corner. Robert could hear the smooth baseline of his heartbeat, dancing along with his calming breaths. It was a sad thing to say, but once again, Robert was at a point in his life where he was getting used to facing off with death. His fingers crept along the wall. They got closer to the edge. This was it. The last dim lightbulb of the living room ceiling fan created shadows all throughout the area. Robert listened to the shuffling. The hatchet slowly rose. Then Robert shot around the corner into the living room. 
The bloodstained blade came down half an inch before he heard, "What the fuck, Dad!" Jordan screamed.  The short, nappy haired boy was on the floor with his left hand raised to block the attack. What good his soft brown skin would have been against the blood-stained blade was a question his father would never ask.
"Watch your mouth, and what the hell are you doing out here? I told you to stay in the bathroom!" Robert shouted. Jordan got to his feet and started dusting himself off. As his hands ran down his Black Panther tee-shirt, Robert noticed the black handle sticking out from Jordan’s waistband.
"I heard shouting," Jordan answered.
"What are you doing with that?” Robert asked, and pointed the hatchet blade at the gun that bulged from Jordan's hip. The boy raised an eyebrow at the question, he wasn't sure if it was the tone or the overall air of stupidity surrounding it; however, something about it seemed to irritate, the hell out of Jordan. He pulled out the gun quickly. The barrel seemed to nonchalantly point towards his father's lower body.


"I found it, under the sink. It's for protection." Jordan said. Robert watched as his son did his best to walk past him with his new metal companion. Yet, Robert's hand shot out blocking Jordan's escape. Robert closed his eyes and tried to remember a time when his son’s answer wasn't so easily expected. Fighting wasn't new to Robert. He had been doing it all his life. From protecting Peter on the playground to protecting the nation overseas. Fighting came all too natural to both him and The Girl. But, no matter how normal it was for them, Robert didn't want it to be the norm for Jordan.
"You don't need protection. Not when you got me, little man.” Robert said. He looked down at Jordan and smiled, "Because Pops is a what?" Jordan's eyes rolled, he didn't feel like partaking in any cute little guessing games. Not only was he no longer five but there was no longer anything remotely cute about this new era of life. "Come on, Pops is a what?" Robert said softly, their hazel eyes locked and Jordan let out a light sigh.
"A super soldier," Jordan said softly. Robert laughed and nodded as he held out his hand,
"The best damn one there is, now let me have that gun. " Robert said.
"If you're that good, then why couldn't you save mom?" Jordan replied, and he placed the handle of the gun into his father's open palm.  It was the event that turned the whole family upside down. An event that sent a man running home to his mother and left a boy internally longing to do the same. 
* * *
Twas the day of the outbreak. Reports of crazed people running wild throughout the state was all over the television. The news chopper had a clear shot of a bumper to bumper freeway, which wasn't all that new in the Gwinnett area, but this time people weren't just sitting and honking their horns. They were abandoning their cars and running for their lives. Fires could be seen. Screams could be heard and like a broken bloody wave, the camera showed a mass of infected, speeding through the gaps in the cars. The phone rang and Robert answered before a second ring got a chance to be heard.
"Catherine!" Robert shouted frantically into the phone.
"Babe, shit is fucking crazy, right now,” Catherine said.
"That's an understatement. Please tell me you're right down the street." Robert said. 
"Yeah, I'm at the light," Catherine said softly. Robert closed his eyes and ran his hand over his face. They had been married for eight years, and in that time they learned closed to everything about one another. Catherine knew about Robert’s addiction to caramel popcorn, that caused him to start a minor fire in the kitchen one July night, and Robert knew that Catherine was a shitty liar. 
"You're on the highway aren't you?" Robert asked.
"Yeaaah," Catherine said.
"Cat, what the hell!" Robert shouted.
"Don't fucking yell at me! I'm sorry, had I known ahead of time that the world was gonna fall apart, I would have left work sooner!“ Catherine shouted.
"I'm coming to get you," Robert said. He knew how it sounded, like some knight in brightly polished male ego armor, looking to save his woman from the dragon's claws. Robert was impulsive. If something needed to be done, it got done right then and there. Catherine was the brains behind the family, she looked at every angle of a problem and Robert knew from her deep sigh, that his response wasn't the answer to their current dilemma. 
"Yeah, you're not doing that. I'll be home in time for dinner. Then we can figure out what we're gonna do." She said softly. 
"Catherine-" Robert's words were cut short by Catherine’s laughter.
"We've seen worse than this overseas. Don't punk out on me now, Briggs." She said softly. Catherine had three deployments under her belt and they weren't any cake walks, but the enemy at the time, also weren’t hordes of infected people with one unified goal of eating anyone and everyone they came across. She didn't want to admit it and knowing her she never would, but she was scared. "Don't make this harder than it needs to be babe," Catherine said softly. 
Robert closed his eyes and dropped back onto the couch, "So, what do you want me to do? Just sit and wait?" Robert asked.
"No, I'd tell you to pack but I'd end up repacking anyway, so just get dinner together and-" This time it was Catherine who was cut off, but sweet laughter wasn't the cause of her abrupt pause. Robert could hear screams coming from the receiver, he shot up to his feet.
"Catherine!" He shouted.
"Fuck!" Catherine shouted and like that the call ended. Robert was left staring dumbfounded at the cell phone in his hand. When he turned around, Jordan was standing at the bottom of the staircase. 
"Is mom alright?" Jordan asked softly. 
* * *
The chamber of the gun flipped open and  Robert stared at the six bullets for a moment. The gun only held six so that loud blast couldn't have been Jordan. Robert's eyes gazed upon his son and the two stared each other down. There was no real way to answer that question and Jordan knew that. It was far from fair to place all that blame on his father's shoulders, but he didn’t care. Jordan needed someone or something to blame because he couldn’t understand how his mother could be there one minute and gone the next. If Jordan was honest, he didn’t believe it. Robert watched Jordan disappear down the hallway. He flipped the handgun closed and then tucked it in the front of his pants. Jordan asked that question every now and then, just as a way to take a jab at his father, but Robert asked himself that same question every waking moment.


"Oh, Uncle Peter! Guess what your favorite nephew found." Robert sang. 
Peter pounded his head into the door slightly, "Damn," he said to himself. "I don't have favorites, it's not fair to the others!" Peter shouted. Jordan pulled open the closet door and Peter waved with a smile, "Hey, Jay-Dog. How’s life treating you?" Jordan shook his head and waited as his father came up behind them. Peter put his hand out and rubbed the boy's head. "You know you're my favorite nephew, I was just playing." However, by then Jordan wasn’t even looking at Peter. 
Jordan’s focus was on Mama Briggs' bedroom door as he said,"I'm your only nephew." Peter nodded and smiled. 
"And that's why you're my favorite.” He said. The handle of the hatchet appeared in front of Peter. He looked at it and closed his eyes. His hand took hold of the bloody weapon. "So, we're really doing this?" Peter asked. Robert watched his younger brother's arms fall to his side and his head lower to the floor. It was the most pathetic and most defeated Robert had ever seen him.
"Don't be like that. It has to be done and this is the fastest way." Robert said.
"I know that, but it doesn't make it any easier," Peter said. Robert put his hand on the back of his brother's neck and pulled him in until they were head to head.
“Father, please forgive us for what we're about to do,” Robert said softly and Peter nodded, adding to their spiritual talk with their maker.
"And if one of us must go to the bad place for this great sin. Just remember who's idea this was, lord." Peter said and then he felt a slap on the back of his head. 
"Amen.” The trio said in unison. Robert turned the key and doorknob at the same time. He cautiously pushed open the door to Mama Briggs' room.
"She's already dead boys, just keep telling yourself that," Robert said. Peter's hand went over Jordan's eyes and he closed his own. He waited for the loud bang, but moments kept passing by and nothing was heard. Robert looked around the room and turned toward the doorway, "Where is she, Peter?" 
Peter opened his eyes and looked around the empty bedroom, "How should I know? You locked her in here, Mr. Zoo Keeper.” Peter said. Robert nodded and pushed his brother into a nearby wall.
"Yeah and now she's gone. So either Ma is zombie Houdini or someone let her out." Robert said. Peter slapped Robert's hand away and looked over at the bloody sheets that covered his mother's bed.
"Or, maybe she got better and-" Peter's words were cut short by Robert grabbing him by the collar. The world was divided into two different camps when it came to the infected. One theory is that they're sick and that the illness can be cured. These people believe that the government and scientists are held up in some bunker, trying to save the world. These people will do anything not to kill a zombie, or as they call them, a loved one. This is purely out of fear of killing them before the cure arises. 
Then there are the people in the second camp, "And what! And what Peter? Maybe she got better and went to bake some fucking cookies?" Robert shouted into his brother's face. Peter's glare went down to his big brother's hands.
"You ain't gonna keep putting your hands on me like that. Okay, bro bro." Peter said softly. The two stared at one another and Robert gave Peter one more push into the wall before he released his little brother. Peter tugged at his collar and rolled his eyes, "You don't know everything. She could have gotten better" Peter said. "She's our mother for God's sake.” 
"I know, who the hell she is!” Robert shouted.
"Do you? Because ever since she got bit, you've been eyeballing her like she's a fucking bottle for target practice!" Peter shouted.
"Sorry that I'm worried about my family,” Robert said. Peter stood there staring at his brother and then he laughed and nodded.
"I guess Ma and I don't make that list anymore, huh?" Peter asked and then he shook his head, "Listen, I'm sorry about Catherine but that doesn't make you a fucking doc-" Peter's words were cut short by a quick jab into his mouth. He toppled over and landed on the bloodstained bed. 
"Don't you ever talk about her, like you know how it fucking feels. The only person you've ever cared about was your damn self." Robert said. Peter’s hand went up to his lips. His fingertips pressed against the stinging pain and then slowly came back with bright red droplets covering them. Robert stood ready for retaliation; his fist was balled up. His feet were planted and his glare didn't break from his brother. Like always Robert was ready for a war, but instead of the enemy taking up arms for battle, Peter sat up on the bed and shook his head.
"I'm done," Peter said.
"What the are you talking about?" Robert asked.
"I'm fucking done! With you and all this shit! Everything has to be your way…” Peter said and stood up slowly, he walked back over to his brother. His lip stung with each word. Peter's hand came up and he rubbed his jaw as he said, “or the fucking highway. I guess I should’ve taken the highway a long time ago.”


"She didn't get better, Peter. This isn't the kind of thing you can get better from." Robert said. While they were doing their little song and dance, Jordan's eyes were focused on the events that were going on outside the window. The complex, originally known as, The Grove, before the gated community was upgraded with homemade guard towers, was normally a quiet, peaceful and to be honest, a boring place. That wasn't the case this morning. Dr. Jones was bitten, turned and quickly decapitated, Mama Briggs was missing and now the neighbors were piling into the street.
"She's our mother. She's Susie Homemaker. Ms. Thanksgiving dinners. She's-" Peter was caught off guard by Jordan's hand shooting up and pointing at the window.
"She's at the window!" Jordan screamed. The Briggs brothers eyes shot toward the window. Peter's golden brown skin quickly started to get pale. A twisted and broken old woman was glaring at him. Peter's eyes got wide; what was once his mother opened up her mouth to show a bloody set of jagged teeth. 

Peter's hand shot out and he grabbed hold of Robert's shirt as he shouted, "What the hell are you waiting for? Shoot the bitch!"


Wednesday, February 7, 2018

What Is LIT RPG?



Okay, so I've been hearing about LIT RPG for a while now and my inner geek is overcome with wonder and excitement. I used to play a LIT RPG on Myspace (Yes, I'm that old, don't let the good looks fool you.) or so I thought. See in that forum, we played as comic book superheroes and villains (Some people played as wrestlers but I really think they just wanted to role play dates with the Bella Twins). I started doing this in 2006 and really didn't stop until like 2010, when I joined the military. It was a fun part of my life, which is why my eyes get all big when I see things about LIT RPG and now Horror/Survival LIT RPG. It feels like the universe is telling me "Do it Sylvester, eat that tide pod" In this case the pod would be RPG... Too soon?

So when I heard LIT RPG I thought, cool Myspace glory days. No, from everything I'm learning LIT RPG in book format is a whole different beast. See in the Myspace game, it was more like cosplay or role-play. I was Lex Luthor and I spent most my time trying to kill the heroes or just fuck up their birthday parties. So in that world, I was Lex and the world as I knew it was real. We had rules, to help the gameplay go smoothly:

You couldn't GodMod someone else's character (I.E move them without their permission)
If you died you had to stay dead for 3 days.
No Force Kills or One Shot Kills. 

That might have been all the rules I can remember, but it is in no way as detailed as LIT RPG seems to be, nor is the concept the same. While in my old hobby we were the characters, in LIT RPG the character knows they are in a game, and more or less you are reading or following someone as they use the rules and mechanics of the game against it. I still need to read one to fully understand the overall concept but it sounds fun as hell to me. 

Everything I learned so far came from youtube videos like this:


Do you guys have any favorite LIT RPGs that you think I should pick up? 

Or do you have any more info about the genre? 

Comment below.

Oh and shoutout to Angel Ramon author of his very own LIT RPG Survival Horror. I think it's gonna be the first I tryout.


Friday, February 2, 2018

Unfit (A Short Story From The Mad Like Me Anthology)





Stop fidgeting and sit up straight. You want him to help you right?
 “Calm down,” Dr. Alexander said. His dark warm hand rested on my golden brown fist and his finger rubbed along my skin in hopes of pulling some of the anger out. His kindness was wasted. There was no calming the storm that was forming inside of me.
“Due to Mr. Connors’ interaction or lack thereof, we the court find him mentally unfit to stand trial,” the judge said. His gavel came down with a thunderous smack and like that it was over.
“Murderer!” one woman screamed and then another. That ruling set off a wave of emotion in us all. Mr. Connors or Mr. Donald William Connors as his sweet landlord who took the stand called him, was more or less free. He would have to spend the rest of his years in a mental institution, but that isn’t anything compared to the death penalty. I know this because I'm a nurse at Saint Andrew’s Hospital for the Mentally Ill. Dr. Alexander is my boss. We came to ensure justice would be served to Mr. Connors. That's his birth name, but you might know him better by the name the press gave him, ‘The Sweetwater Devil.’
“This place is turning into a madhouse, let's go Sarah,” Dr. Alexander said. I took a look around the room. At the balled up fist that were much like my own. They shot into the air, one after another. Their fist almost seemed as if they were dancing to the hypnotic rhythm of their chanting.
“Murderer!”
“Murderer!” I wish I could tell them to be calm. To try and drown the fires that are in them. I wish I could tell them save your voices, he’ll get what he deserves. But I can’t, so I don’t.
“Yeah, let's go.” I said. We got to our feet and rushed out before the madness really began. I heard the police arrested three people. Isn’t that just a slap in the face of justice? Your loved one’s killer gets to walk out, while you’re carried out in handcuffs. The car ride was long and silent. For the most part we avoided the elephant that was tap dancing in the room or maybe I avoided it. When the car came to a stop, the elephant was found and then shot.
“There’s no turning back. He’s gonna be in our care for the foreseeable future.” Dr. Alexander said. He shifted in his seat until he was facing me. I kept my eyes on the falling leaves that were skydiving onto the hood of the car. His rich, black skin mixed with my light brown that always seemed to hide an orange-red glow, even when the moment wasn’t glow worthy. His hands took hold of mine and he stared into my eyes.


Kiss him.
“If you have any reservations about the plan, then now may very well be the final hour.” he said.
Just nod. No, answer him. Nodding just seems so passive.
“This is what needs to happen Dr. Alexander,” I rubbed my finger along the back of his hand. Our eyes were fixed on one another until he smiled and looked down at our hands.
“You can call me Calvin. After everything that’s happened, I think you can call me by my first name,” he said.
He wants you to say his name. Go on, say it.
“Thank you,” I said and pulled my hands from his to exit the car. The door slammed behind me and I stood in the cool fall air as he pulled off down the road. That night I rested my head on my pillow and for the first time since that monster took my Dallas, I slept.
***
“Patient Donald William Connors?” I read off the name slowly. I almost thought I was going to choke on it. His sleazy lawyer stood up and walked over to me. I held my clipboard tightly, never letting my eyes off the monster known as Mr. Connors. He sat there, staring at the floor between his feet.
“Yes, I’m sure you know from his file Mr. Connors doesn’t speak.” the lawyer said. I nodded,
“Oh yes, I remember Dr. Alexander telling me that,” I replied.
“You’ve spoken with Dr. Alexander?” He asked.
“Yes.” I matter of factly stated.
“Is he here? I would like to speak with him.” He said.
“No,” I replied.
“No, he’s not hear or no, I can’t speak with him?” He asked. I smiled and lowered my clipboard to my side and I looked back over at the monster. His hair was dirty and shaggy, he had a gray and white beard that aged him far more than it should have. Seeing him sitting there staring off into space, made you believe he truly was nothing to fear. Yet, I knew better. “Hello,” the lawyer said as he snapped his fingers in my face.
Oh let this mother fucker have it!


“The doctor! Isn’t here!” I shouted. The monster’s head slowly picked up. I felt his eyes scanning over my body as I leaned into the lawyer and softly said, “I know what you and the doctor have agreed upon. No worries, your client is in good hands,” I said. When I leaned back I looked over at the monster and saw something. It was faint. So much so, I almost believed I made it up in my head, but I swore that he smiled at me. The male orderlies cautiously came upon the monster and handcuffed him, pulling him from his seat.
“Are those necessary?” His lawyer asked. I smiled and turned on my heels as I followed the orderlies down the hall. As the guard buzzed us through the large doors, we were greeted by a crowd of misfit gawkers. Some in robes, some in single color jumpsuits. One in his God given birthday suit.
“Good God! Can someone get Timothy some cloths!” I shouted into the echoing halls. A nurse started rushing over toward the naked man, who waved his hand and umm his little member at me.
“Hi, Ms. Sarah,” he said.
“Hi, Timothy,” I softly replied. The patients don’t get much access to the outside world. They get to walk the grounds and some have visitors, but for the most part the only time they get to see the world beyond these walls is during television time. From ten in the morning until four in the afternoon, they get to get lost in the real world. We mostly leave it on daytime shows or cartoons for them, but once the murders started, it seemed every channel was talking about ‘The Sweetwater Devil’ We did our best to avoid the case all together, but everyday someone would be watching it. Slowly the monster became a star in their eyes and now their star has fallen and walks the same halls as them.
“What room is he in, Nurse Sarah?” The large orderlie asked. My eyes went down to the clipboard and I tossed over a few papers before saying, 
“The ninth ward, room C.” When my clipboard came down the two men were staring at me. They both had a mixed look of wonder and disbelief. “Is there a problem?” I asked.
“No, but there isn’t anyone in the ninth ward at the moment.” The orderly replied. I laughed and crossed my arms, pressing the board to my chest, 
“It’s not like he’ll be isolated. We’ll just have to take a longer walk to get him for social activities. Due to his profile, Dr. Alexander feels it would be best to keep him away from the others, until the shock and awe wears off,” I said.
A longer walk, more like a hike down stairs. No one is going to hear him down there. Not a soul.


When the elevator doors opened, Dr. Alexander was there waiting. The door to room C was wide open. I watched as the orderlies walked the monster into the room. I stood in the hall as Dr. Alexander spoke with him. It was the normal in-processing jargon.
Nothing is normal about this.
The door closed the door and the orderlies headed toward the elevator, while I took my first steps toward the monster’s cage. My hand came out and my fingertips brushed the cool metal of the door before Dr. Alexander’s hand rested on my own.
“Not now.” He said softly.
No, no, no! Now is fine! Now is perfect!
“You’re right,” I said softly.
Dumb bitch!
I returned to the main floor and continued about my day. It was a hard task to do, my mind just kept coming back to him and all the wicked things he did to her. Her name was Dallas and she was the prettiest star to ever fall from the sky. She came into my life during a dark point. A darkness that she didn’t need to be apart of. So I did what I had to do. She was better off without me, I would see her and her parents from time to time at the park or the mall. They didn’t see me, I didn’t want them to. She was happy and I wanted her to stay that way. But then the monster rolled into our lives and nothing was the same. I had to pretend all was well for weeks, while I was dying inside and now I have to repeat that fake form of life, for just a few more days.
***
Today is the day!
“You pulling a double Sarah?” Nurse Jackie asked. Her question pulled me out of the fog that seemed to have kidnapped my day. I nodded and rolled my shoulders as I said,
“Our V.I.P guest needs a personal nightly nurse. Doctors orders,”
“You’re a better woman than me. No way would I go down there with that fucking sicko.” Nurse Jackie said. She pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and quickly started slapping the pack into her open hand repeatedly. “I mean he lite one poor girl on fire. I’m just happy I don’t have any kids to worry about,” She said and then the slapping stopped as she stared at me, “Fuck Sarah, I’m sorry. I mean-”
“It’s fine,” I said and shoved my hands into my pockets. We both awkwardly nodded for a moment before she asked,
“How is? What’s her name again?”
Dallas, you stupid, heartless, little…
“Dallas. It’s Dallas.” I said as I walked off towards the elevator.
“Goodnight!” She shouted.
You should flip her off.
I made my way to the ninth ward and as the elevator opened, Dr. Alexander was there waiting.
“Now?” I say softly.
“Soon, we have to wait for the night staff to clear out. Then it’s just us and the graveyard shift.” He said softly. My eyes went over to the large metal C that sat above the monster's cage. I shoved my hands in my pockets and felt the cool glass bottles tumble between my fingers. 
“Have you spoken to him?” I asked.
“Somewhat, his keeping up the act of mutism like his lawyer advised him to.” Dr. Alexander said.
“Does he know you coached his lawyer?” I asked.
“I believe so. Nonetheless, him remembering me isn’t why we’re here.” He said as his hazel eyes came upon me, “We’re here to make sure he remembers Dallas. To make sure he knows the pain he put you and her through.” He said. His hand came out and softly ran along my elbow. I felt a chill run along my bare-skin. I couldn’t look at him, I could only look at the floor.
“He’s a monster.” I said softly.
“The worst kind.” he replied. Dr. Alexander’s eyes went back to the metal door and his jawline tightened under his salt and peppered beard. “The kind of monster that preys on the weak, that takes with no concern for anyone else.” His eyes came back to mine and his lips did their best to create some half assed form of a smile. “But this monster won’t even be a memory after tonight.” he said. Dr. Alexander's hand took hold of mine, 
“You promise?” I asked softly.
“I promise,” he said and our lips met for the first time.
Finally.

***
An hour passed and as I buttoned up my shirt, I started to question why I was really here. Could the monster mean so much to me that I was willing to throw away all I’ve worked for? All Calvin had worked for? Was this truly about justice or was I using this as a means to get closer? Using her to get closer?
She’s gone and it’s because of that monster! Now! Now is the time!
“I’m sorry you never got to be in her life, the way that you wanted?” Calvin said softly. I glanced at him from over my shoulder and smiled,
“She was an special little girl. She had the most amazing green eyes.” I softly said as my fingers pushed the last of my buttons together.
“Like her mother,” Calvin said. He put his hand into his pocket and I listened as his footsteps echoed through the ghostly wing of the hospital. The ninth ward hadn’t been used for sometime. Not since the state cut our funding and the mayor started his re-election run. Now that votes are on the table it seems that padded cells and other trademarks of the ninth ward are classified as inhuman. Which makes it a most fitting location for our monstrous guest.
“Now?” I asked.
“Now,” Calvin replied softly. His hand came back out of his white coat pocket with a set of large padded handcuffs. He stood in front of the door and I stood off to the side. His hand slammed onto the metal door and he shouted, “Hands!” We stared at the metal door under the dim glow of the fluorescent lights.
Maybe he killed himself.
I jumped when the monster’s hands pushed through the metal slot by Calvin’s knees. His tattooed forearms faced up at us. I could see bold black letters pushing out from his skin.
Die Young? Well isn’t that just sweet.
The handcuffs came down around his wrist and Calvin pulled at the straps tightening them. Before the monster could pull his hands back Calvin’s gentle hold turned into a vice grip. His fingernails were pressing deep into the pink soft meat of the monster’s arm. My hand went into my pocket and my fingers brushed along the glass bottles, I quickly pulled one out to unite with my left hand that held the syringe.
“Do you know why you’re here Mr. Connors?” Calvin asked. A tug was attempted but Calvin stood strong,
“I’m here to be fixed,” the monster replied softly.
Fixed? Some people can’t be fixed!
“Your lawyer and I came to an agreement. I did my part and saved you from the needle.” Calvin said and his hold started to soften on the monster. I rammed the needle into his forearm and pushed the clear liquid into his vile skin, right in the middle of the dark bold D. The tattooed arms quickly pulled back through the slot and Calvin smiled, “Now is when you uphold your end of the bargain.” he said.
“Son of a bitch!” the monster hollered.
That’s what I’ve been waiting for. Hurt him! Kill him!
A loud bang echoed throughout the dead hallway. The syringe rolled from my fingers and danced along the concrete floor. Another thunderous bang was heard and this time the door shook. I backed away slowly.
No, no, don’t run now. This is when the fun starts.
“Sarah, open the door to the medbay,” Calvin said, but I couldn’t move. I want this or I wanted it. My eyes didn’t lift from the little slot until his voice came once again, “Sarah!” Calvin shouted and my head spun. “The door, get the door,” he said. I ran down the hall because,
Because you want this to happen.
No! I mean yes, yes I do, but-
But nothing, this has to happen. There is no other way around it, if you stop now he’ll never love you. If you stop now, they’ll put us in the ward. Do you want that!
No!
Good.


I pulled the keys from my pocket. My fingers trembled as I tossed each metal key aside in hopes of finding the right one. I heard a click and my neck snapped towards the sound. Calvin opened the monster’s cage and his limp body made a sickening thump when it hit the floor. Calvin stood over him, I saw him mouth something but I wasn’t sure what it was. The key slipped into the hole and the tumble twisted and turned.
Open Sesame.
My hands slapped along the cool white blocks that lined the medbay. I was searching through total and complete darkness until my fingers ran over the comforting and memorable feeling of a light switch. I hit it and watched as the room flickered to life. It was an all white room, with silver objects popping out from every which corner. Pans, saws and handles, but one object stood out above the rest.
It’s an operating table...Calling Dr. Alexander.
Stop!
You stop!
Calvin came into the room dragging the monster behind him. He dropped the body and that chilling thump echoed once again, I got a closer look this time. That thump was the monster’s head slamming into the floor. I watched as blood started to pour from the back of his skull. Calvin scooped him back up once again and motioned his head toward the table.
“Get the straps ready.” He said. And so I did. We strapped him down tightly to the table and I rammed a towel deep into his mouth.
Have I told you how smart you are?
No, never.
Well you are, you’re a very, very smart girl.
Thank you.
You’re welcome.
***
“Hello sunshine. We thought you would never join us. Sarah thought you were dead, but I had a bit more faith in you,” Calvin said. His gloved hands went onto the monster’s face and he held it’s eyes open while shining a light in them. “Yeah he’s good to go!” Calvin shouted as he clapped his hands together. That was the moment the monster noticed the blood on Calvin’s hands. It was dripping from Calvin’s gloved fingers. I saw the monster’s head slowly roll over to me. Our eyes locked. In his eyes I could see a light icy blue, that was slowly pulling out of a haze and in my eyes he could see-
Fear.
No! Hate, in my eyes he could see hate. I got closer to the table and I leaned over him.
“Hello,” I said softly. He continued to stare at me so I shouted, “Hello!” his eyes closed and he took a deep swallow and then he mumbled. I cupped my hand to my ear and I said, “I’m sorry, what was that?” Calvin pointed at the towel in the monster's mouth and I slapped the side of my head, “Silly me,” I said as I pulled the cloth from his lips.
Idiot.
“Hello,” the monster said softly.
“My name is Sarah and I will be your nurse for this evening.” I said with a smile, I folded my hands together and nodded, “Tonight is a very big night.” I said.
“Is it?” the monster asked.
“Oh, yes it is Mr. Connors,” Calvin said.
Tell him why.
“Tonight we’re going to remove a very deadly cancer. A nasty little one that’s killed eighteen people,” I said with a gasp as I put my hand over my mouth. His eyes didn’t show any emotion. Then again I wasn’t sure what emotion I wanted to see. I didn’t know what fear or terror looked like. His eyes were focused on me as my hand dropped from my lips. “This cancer is a real threat to anyone it comes in contact with. So we are doing the world an amazingly good service by removing it, Mr. Connors.” I finished. He glared at Calvin and then the monster’s body jolted alive, shaking and pulling at the leather straps, “Oh, my.” I said with my hand over my chest.
“You son of a bitch! You said I’d be out in a few month. You said if I just played ball I’d-” The monster’s words were cut off by Calvin’s laughter. His bloody hand came up and wiped some sweat away from his eyebrow, leaving a strike of red on his forehead.
Sexy.


“I know what I said son. Sadly you are as stupid as you look.” Calvin’s hand came up with a silver object that shined under the operating lights, “You didn’t really think I would set something like you, back out onto the streets, did you?” Calvin asked and the monster stared. “Did you!” Calvin shouted. The shining object came closer to the monster’s facing giving both him and I a better view. It was a scalpel, a nice sharp scalpel, that Calvin slowly started to bring closer to the monster’s eye.  
Take his fucking eye out!
“Take his eye out!” I shouted. Calvin’s eyes came over to me and he smiled. He was right, there was no turning back now. The only way to come out of this a live was to continue down this wicked path that we created.
“First I want to play a game.” Calvin said. He leaned forward and rested his chin on his forearms that were crossed over the monster’s chest. “I want to see what kind of soul you have.”
Monster’s don’t have souls.
“What do you mean?” I asked. Calvin smiled while staring at the monster, 
“I want to know more about your victims.” he shook his head and stood up right, “No, that’s not it. I want to know how much you know about your victims.” The room fell silent or I went deaf, I honestly couldn’t tell in that moment.
A game? What kind of sick fuck is he?
He’s not sick, he’s eccentric.
Yeah that’s just a fancy word for sick fuck. This game isn’t good for us.
Calvin strolled over to the metal filing cabinet that sat in the corner of the room. The latch clicked and he quickly pulled the draw open. I watched as his bloody gloves thumbed through the files, leaving red droplets on every tan folder.
“Oh here’s a good one,” Calvin said and whipped out the folder.
This can’t be happening!
“She won her first blue ribbon last month, in the local chili cook off. She was gonna enter to be on chopped jr, but well...” He held the folder up in his hand and sighed, “You killed her. So let’s go with an easy one. What is her name?” Calvin asked. My eyes fell onto the monster. I was looking for some sign of fear or worry but what I got instead was a smile. His head tilted back and he released a dry laugh from his lips, followed by a few coughs. “Does her death amuse you?” Calvin asked.
“Yes, but that’s not why I’m laughing.” The monster said.
“Oh, no?” Calvin asked with an eyebrow raised.
“I just thought about what you’re face is going to look like, when I force feed you, your pretty little girlfriend.” The monster said. I shook my head, 
“I’m not-” My words were cut off by the monster’s roar.
“I don’t fucking care. I’m gonna make him eat your face until he-” Then the monster was cut off or got something cut off. The blood started to spurt from the red chunk of meat where his right thumb used to be. Calvin stood there with the bloody scalpel in his hand and dark red drops of blood in his beard. The hair caused the blood to look far thicker than it normally did, as it ran along the curls and dripped onto the floor between his feet. The thumb, a thick white hotdog looking piece of meat. Rolled off the table and landed in the puddle of blood that was filling the floor. That light splash set off a flood of screams and curses from the lips of the monster.
“So sorry Mr. Connors, the answer we were looking for was Amber, Amber Stone.” Calvin said shaking his head as he started walking back to the file cabinet. “Hopefully, you’ll do better with the next one.” he said.
“My fucking finger! You cut off my fucking finger!” The monster roared.
“I cut off your thumb, let’s not get over dramatic now,” Calvin replied.
He’s going to kill us when he finds out.
No he won’t, he loves us.
Get your head out your ass. He's in too deep, there’s no turning back now and if he asks about Dallas-
“Shut up!” I screamed and Calvin looked at me. He smiled and started thumbing through another set of folders.
“Don’t be rude Sarah, we want him to scream. Remember, it’s the whole reason he's here.” Calvin said. My heart felt like a death row inmate trying to break out of the cage that was my chest. I stood there watching him slowly moving. Brushing blood along each bit of paper he passed. “I like this one.” Calvin said as he pulled out the folder, “You killed her with a tire iron. Cracked her skull and crumbled her eye socket. When all she did was offer to help you with your car.” Calvin’s jawline tightened as he softly said, “What she didn’t know was you car was fine and what you didn’t know is, she was going to visit her blank.” This time Calvin tossed the folder to the floor as he walked over to a silver tray that stood alone at the bottom of the operating table. Off that tray, Calvin picked up a cordless buzz saw. His finger pulled back on the trigger and the metal grinding sound made me jump. Calvin smiled and said, “Here, you have a turn.”
Just say no. Tell him this is making you sick. Y’all had sex, tell him the baby is under too much stress.
No!
You’re right, he’s crazy, you better just take the saw.
The saw weighed down my hands. I stared at it as I started walking towards the table. There was a black handle with a safety trigger and then the main trigger at the bottom. Both had to be pressed to make the saw spin. Calvin walked back over to the monster and leaned down, staring into his eyes.
“Who was she going to visit? Come on, this one is easy. You followed these girls for days right?” Calvin asked softly. The monster’s eyes were so still and cold as they stared into Calvin’s hazel gaze. I got closer with the saw debating what I wanted to do with it. I could just kill him and put an end to it all. I could cut him so deeply he would fade away before we got to Dallas’ file, but then again Calvin could patch him up to keep the game going.
There is another choice.
Is there?
Oh, yes.
Oh! No, no, no. We can’t do that.
They’re both crazy, far more unfit to live than we are.
I don’t think Calvin is crazy he's just-
“Caroline, Caroline Parker.” The monster’s voice froze my blood. I watched as Calvin stood up, still glaring at the monster as it continued, “She was blonde, maybe seventeen or sixteen. She also talked way too much, but then again that could have been because of the fear. They all seem to talk a lot when they’re scared. Begging, pleading, just yapping like little puppies.” The monster said.
“Who was she going to see?” Calvin asked.
“Her Mother,” The monster said. I turned on the saw and Calvin shook his head putting up his hand.
“His right,” Calvin said and the metal buzzing of the saw stopped. I felt uneasy, not because of the sound of the saw but because it had to stop. This was a game. One with actual rules. Calvin was doing some kind of fair play with this monster, and that made me feel very uneasy. A fair man was a sane man and a sane man was no help to us.
“I helped her. Just like I helped all of them.” The monster said. His head rolled over to the side and his eyes fell on me, he smiled softly, “I was just helping them see their mothers.”
We’re gonna have a room right next to his.
“It’s heartbreaking to watch them try and live a normal life. Trying to-” The monster was cut off by Calvin’s fist slamming into his mouth. I watched as the blood started to pour from his lip, then darker blood started to push from his mouth as he started coughing. The monster’s head turned to the side and he let out a loud blood filled cough. The splatter stained my white apron and a small object slapped into my stomach. I leaned down to pick it up, it was covered in blood and very jagged but I knew for sure what it was.
It’s his tooth.


“You only speak, when spoken to!” Calvin shouted.
Who’s more of a threat? Who’s more of a risk to our lives?
What do you mean?
The monster can kill us or maybe not, but Calvin can lock us away forever. There’s no doubt about that. We will never see the light of day.
Calvin turned toward the cabinet once again. This was becoming a pattern. His gaze would fall upon the cabinet and my heart would start seizing up. He would describe a bloody encounter with the monster and I would pray it wasn’t Dallas. The monster got used to the game as well. He started spitting out correct answer after correct answer, never lying or dancing around the question. He was a perfect little saint. I kept my eyes on Calvin as he thumbed through the folders that held all this power and knowledge. Little bits of paper that seemed to hold the whole lives of the monster’s victims.
Shit.
What?
This game. It only works because the doctor has the answers in those folders.
And?
And! If the answers are sweet little nugs of knowledge about those dead girls then-
Then he knows!
He knows you’re lying about Dallas.
No he couldn’t know. I mean why do this if he knows?
Why do this at all? Because he’s crazy!
I listened for Calvin’s blood covered gloves to start pushing the folders along their track and when that sound came I took my first steps toward the monster. He was a beast that stole my sweet Dallas away from me. A beast that had stolen many sweet girls from the world. And even in this broken state, he still had the power to steal something else from me. The beautiful world I had created with my Dallas. He could twist my hours of watching her and following her into something dark and depraved. This monster could open his lips and cast me as an insane woman who created a fairy tale life with some random girl. Even in this broken state, the monster had far too much power.
Kill him!
That chilling buzz started again as I moved toward the monster. I could see Calvin’s head turn. He was screaming something but the buzzing filled my ears. The buzzing was all I could hear. The blade crept closer to the monster and I could see him frantically tugging and pulling at his straps. The fear that I had been waiting for was finally here. I imagined this was the look that my poor Dallas had on her face. I pictured what she must have looked like when that rope went around her neck. I’m sure she was scared. No, terrified of what that monster would do to her.  
But now he’s terrified!
Yes.
Kill him.
As the saw started to get closer I could see Calvin racing toward me. He wanted some form of justice or maybe he just wanted to see me suffer as he prolonged my fear of hearing Dallas’ name. I was not sure what was running through Calvin’s mind but I knew what was racing through my own. I wanted this to end. I wanted to walk away from this clean and without worry like Calvin promised. I felt the bloody hands tightly grab me from behind. It wasn’t the sweet touch that he placed upon me earlier that night, no this was not the embrace of a lover. As my body twisted and started to fall I could see the look in his eyes was that of a mad man. The saw fell forward and with it’s final rotation it sliced through the monster’s wrist bands and shattered sending a large black shard into the middle of the monster’s hand.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing!” Calvin roared. I was not using him. This was not my master plan of unleashing revenge on a monster that stole away my obsession. No, that might have been the carrot that he dangled in my face but it was Calvin who was pulling all the strings. He used us to play out his sick little fantasies on a soul no one will miss. I stared into his eyes, the once hazel balls of beauty and love. I stared into them and all I could see was hate. I was so lost in my fear that I didn’t see the monster free himself until he was upon Calvin, biting into his neck like some kind of animal.
Get up! Get up!
I leapt to my feet and sped to the door. I looked back to see Calvin tossing the monster down onto the floor and flipping the operating table onto him.
“Sarah!” Calvin roared. I ran through the doorway and slammed the door. My fingers trembled as they battled to find the right key.
“Sarah!” Calvin hollered. My heart was pounded. The metal jingled as I tossed the keys along the ring.
Hurry!
Wrong one.
Hurry!
Wrong one!
Sarah!
And then by the grace of God, the key slide in and the lock turned. I saw the door shake as something came crashing into it. I stumbled back toward the wall and slide down till I was sitting with my knees tightly pressed to my chest. There was a monster and a mad man, fighting in a cage. An old cage that would only hold for so long. Soon one of them will escape and what will that mean for me?
I don’t know.
What do you mean you don’t know? You said you could help!
I’m confused. Can you tell me the story again?
I’ve already told you it five times now!
Just one more time and this time tell it really, really slow.
Fine...
 “Calm down,” Dr. Alexander said. His dark warm hand rested on my golden brown fist and his finger rubbed along my skin in hopes of pulling some of the anger out. His kindness was wasted. There was no calming the storm that was forming inside of me.